Typical Singaporeans? (and why I consider myself as a "neither here nor there" Singaporean)

Because I woke up slightly earlier a few days ago for work, I decided to do random surfing. Nothing much, it was just going through MSN SG for any noteworthy news. Then this came up. Once I got home from work, the cat in yours truly decided to know a wee bit more about the hoo-ha. And guess what? Xiaxue decided to join in the fun. Now I know this is one blogger capable of antagonising an entire nation. To her loyal/rabid fanbase, she is Daenerys Targaryen. To the haters, she is Cersei Lannister. And it doesn't help that she may have accidentally made the Heaven's Feel route of the Fate/stay night visual novel game more famous by sparking off the whole slut daughter vs rapist son internet brawl (and it doesn't help that Matou Sakura is that "slut daughter" in HF while Matou Shinji is every bit of a rapist, both in HF and the Unlimited Blade Works route).

So who is in the right and wrong?

Firstly and foremost, let me play the Keanu Reeves to Xiaxue's Al Pacino. We all may know that famous movie The Devil's Advocate. I went through her post copied and plastered here. At the risk of making the noisy majority angry, I have to say there's nothing racist over her statements. Yes, this was the classic Xiaxue baiting tactic we're all so used to. From whatever conspiracy theories concerning her two (ex)BFFs to whether she's a closet fan of Breitbart and its openly gay poster boy Milo Yiannopoulos, she's been there and done that when it comes to creating controversy.

Which is why I say I'm playing the Keanu Reeves to her Al Pacino. Was the post provocative? Yes. While I have to admit she did put forth a decent argument, you still can't blame people for accusing her of stoking the fire. There's a logic behind this, it's called shock tactics (and no, it has got nothing to do with whatever cavalry tactics employed by Saladin during the Third Crusade). But nowhere in her post did she ever insult Indians, foreign workers, and the physically handicapped. So no, there was nothing racist about her statements. Provocative, yes. Racist, no. At least there were more grounds to make noise when it comes to John Terry and Ron Atkinson, no matter whether it's intentional or adrenaline running a marathon.

Secondly, I have to anger the noisy minority by assuming the role of John Constantine. Unless there is any semblance of falsehood behind Shrey Bhargava's counter-argument, I prefer to give him the benefit of doubt.

If it's okay for Xiaxue to go ballistic over some overgrown Mowgli crying wolf, then it should be okay for me to insult my fellow Singaporeans. In a nation where public education should be our national pride, there's a noisy group of people called Singaporean rednecks. Like the American rednecks, they're stupid. They're loud, crass, and deserve to be executed by a Pinoy politician named Rodrigo Duterte. If you think I'm being offensive, think again. I could have done far worse than this by mentioning the fish swimming in the Manila Bay and random sons of a whore.

Of course, this is not to say every Singaporean is a closet redneck. If it's impossible for every American to be an idiot, what makes us think that every Singaporean is loud, crass, and deserved to be executed by a Pinoy politician named Rodrigo Duterte? Sadly, however, reality has proven that the globalised culture of idiocy is something real. Far more than evolution, the devolution of mankind is 100% proven. No need for the missing link or some Piltdown bloke.

A national fallacy that is more than just Jack Neo?

Let me just copy and plaster this again. On the first glance, this article was all about a national lack of class when it comes to humour. The problem is that... well, it's not.

When it comes to lowbrow humour which is a watered down version of shows like South Park, Beavis and Butthead, etc, what we see is merely a case of tried and tested. It's very easy for us to point fingers at Jack Neo and the social norms, but what about movies made by Wong Jing?

In terms of humour, there is much more in common between Jack Neo and Wong Jing compared to Ah Boys to Men and South Park. I still remember my childhood and teenage years spent on watching Wong Jing movies. There's no need for cable television. The national TV channel is originally known as the SBC (i.e. Singapore Broadcasting Corporation, nothing to do with the Southern Baptist Convention). Back then as a child in primary school, I was already somewhat familiar with names like Amy Yip and Athena Chu. Let me just paraphrase a common saying here. In bilingual format, no less:

[冰冻三尺，非一日之寒；建造罗马，非一日之工。]

[Rome wasn't built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour; three feet of ice isn't frozen in a day, for winter lasts three months.]

The culture of lowbrow entertainment, as the article puts it, is a result of people subscribing to a common standard without much thinking. Caricature has always been an effective means of satire. Jack Neo wasn't the only one doing this, neither will he be the last. Case in point: That was what got Charlie Hedbo into a bloodbath on January 7, 2015.

However, should we stop at here? Appreciating satire isn't just about laughing at negative stereotypes. One has to appreciate the background of whoever doing it and the backdrop of the respective scenes. I still remember the whole ITE=It's The End joke in the movie I Not Stupid. Coincidentally, I was in full-time ITE back then and the principal had to make a clarification. No matter how well worded the statements were, there's no denying that a satirical joke was there for all to see and laugh. And yes, I know a satire when I see one.

Is it possible for us to have more of the ITE jokes? Not on a literal basis, but rather something far better than throwing brown stuff. I'm sure Jack Neo has proven himself on being able to come up with classy satire. But can he do more by doing away with excrement, excessive negative stereotypes, and Alvin Tan+Vivian Lee?

Which now comes to another question: Are Singaporeans mature enough to handle satire? We can be quite comfortable laughing at exaggerated caricatures and Stephen Chow's inane Chinese accent. But when it came to Amos Yee, all hell broke loose.

Now it must be said that his actions for the past N months shouldn't be condoned. If you're playing with fire, it means you're playing fire. Nothing personal, just being factual (I'm still curious to know where his supporters were when Alex Au got himself into trouble with the AGC, though). When it comes to his CNY satire, I have nothing but support for him. This boy is very intelligent, I'll give him that. At such a tender age, he was able to create something which Jack Neo wouldn't be crucified for. Namely, a satire laughing at how disconnected we modern day Chinese are when it comes to traditional holidays. Not just Chinese New Year, but also lesser known ones like Duanwu Festival and Qixi Festival. When we talk about Duanwu, the first thing we know is dragon boats. But do you know this festival was meant to commemorate a patriot by the name of Qu Yuan? As for Qixi, do you know the romantic melancholy behind such a day? When we now use the term "niu lang", it's meant as a derogatory term for gigolos. But the real "niu lang" was anything but that. He was more of a Rhaegar Targaryen than a gigolo, for he was truly devoted to his Lyanna Stark. Namely, the "zhi nu". When we use the term "牛郎与织女", it is a reference to star-crossed lovers no different from pairings like Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, and this song below.

So what am I trying to say beyond the fact that Amos Yee did nothing wrong back then? Very simple. Before the emergence of Hot Rod Duterte, a bunch of people appeared in an attempt to feed Amos to the fish swimming in the Manila Bay. The irony couldn't be any more evident. Amos wasn't worthy of feeding the fish. As for his critics, they deserved to feed the fish. Period.

It seems that we are still stuck in a state of PC culture where we're just too comfortable in an ivory tower of our own making. However, I also need to point out that one doesn't need much to boil a frog alive. Likewise, it's quite easy to set fire on an ivory tower. Just gather the wood, make sure the wood is dry, and start the funeral pyre.

I'll admit that I'm also guilty of being a hypocrite here. For too long, I was too stubborn on insisting my own definition of satire. While there was nothing wrong with my understanding, I ended up assuming others having the same manner of knowledge. The more I tried convincing myself, however, the more hollow my voice of self-justification. Yes, I am encouraged by an increased show of being gracious from fellow Singaporeans whom I do not know. However, it's also high time for me to recognise the nature of balance here.

Interesting comparisons

Of course, Jack Neo isn't the most provocative tool in the shed. And definitely, Xiaxue isn't the smartest provocative tool in the shed as well.

In 2008, a Hollywood made satire making fun of the Hollywood culture got itself into trouble because RDJ used the R-word reportedly 17 times despite Ben Stiller being a known advocator for the intellectually handicapped.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2008/sep/22/tropicthunder.benstiller

In 2006, a movie portraying the idiocy of its titular anti-Semite actually attracted the kind of attention Xiaxue can only dream about. The most interesting part?

This pseudo-Kazakh was actually a real Jew named Sacha Baron Cohen of the Four By Two fame.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borat#Accidental_use_of_its_parody_national_anthem

Even earlier in 1999, South Park pulled off what may easily be the most infamous song in the history of America. And some say as well Canada.

Despite this being a cartoon, the f-word can be heard clearly at least once. Then again, it's Cartman.

Assumptions and connecting the dots: Mutually exclusive?

I still remember my AS1 Steve Ang telling me this: "You really need to quit your obsession with manga and anime. Otherwise, no girl will like you."

I admit my past was a tumultuous one. I can still remember Daisy, Yali, and Yufen from my secondary school years. Those were the girls whom I had a crush on. Once I reached ITE, there were Sharifah/Syarifah and Cheryl/Sheryl. It was a case of one-sided crush. It was nothing short of living hell where I was tossed back and fro by my inner demons. Namely, porn.

However, years of being alone by myself have developed a fiercely independent streak when it comes to my own judgment. Some of my friends did have a positive impact on me when it comes to this, I know who they are.

When Steve told me that damning statement, I instinctively knew where the problem was. On one hand, I had more than an inkling of an idea. On the other end, however, Steve could only see a mass of dots.

Assuming Steve was telling the truth and that he's very receptive to the Ah Boys to Men series, it means his fallacy may have exposed the humane tendency to make conclusions at other people's expense. This is something which we're all guilty of. For Shrey Bhargava, it might actually be far more painful than we assumed.

Let me just state that the two vids above are meant to be a litmus test of sorts. The first video is the trailer to Ah Boys to Men 2. The second video lasts for 52 minutes plus. When it comes to being exceptional rather than mundane, having the patience of steel is needed. If you can't be bothered to take the test, it means chances are that you're a mundane degree holder instead of someone with potential.

If you're able to finish the test, what is your first reaction? If you're capable of making comparisons, good. It means you passed the test.

The difference between the two vids exposes the fallacy in us. We tend to jump the gun without thinking twice about the other side of the coin. Period. Xiaxue wasn't wrong to flip the coin, but Shrey Bhargava shouldn't be castigated just because we failed to see the greater evil at work. It's a conflict between two different realities, neither of which is false.

While it's only natural for us to see the tree before the forest, we must understand one thing. It's never about not seeing the forest because of a tree, but rather the tendency of seeing only the tree despite understanding the obvious beforehand.

Let me give you another test, a question to be exact: Do you think Park Shin-hye went for plastic surgery after her net worth skyrocketed?

A Singaporean neither here nor there?

Firstly and foremost, I identify myself as a Singaporean. However, I don't identify myself as a typical Singaporean. If Singapore is Winterfell, then it means I'm Jon Snow. In other words, I see myself as no different from a bastard.

Right from the beginning, I realised I wasn't meant to learn things the Singaporean way. Sadly, it also means I'm destined to go against the system. I fell asleep during class even though I couldn't pinpoint the cause. There was this classmate sitting behind me who decided to disturb me in the name of "righteousness". I was bullied despite doing nothing worth the wrath, a classmate by the name of David Long became that unwitting pawn in a bully's bid to make himself look like a "hero". I was betrayed by people whom I thought were my friends. I can still recall that person's English name. I was verbally abused, people called me "siao" without feeling guilty while I still can recall the full name of that person during my ITE days who mercilessly put me down like some kind of worthless mongrel.

Physically, I'm part of my family and Singapore. Yet, my inner world has been detached from them. Nearly 35 years of being alive and this is still the case. I am no different from the likes of Emiya Shirou and Archer. The reality marble known as Unlimited Blade Works is an inner world representing solitude where trials of steel and fire defined everything.

I tried more than once to open my mouth, to speak out my innermost thoughts. The words got stuck in my throat. For countless years, I lived apart from my family and country despite still physically there. I harboured no hopes that they would understand me as a human being.

Ultimately, I started becoming somewhat cynical. Interestingly, I started developing my own independent thinking. Right now, I'm still in a state of silence when it comes to taking blows. On one hand, I still feel the need to be understood and appreciated. On the other hand, no evidence has been given when it comes to those around me.

So should I go kill myself? Thankfully, such a thought never crossed my mind during my secondary school years. I can still remember a classmate of the same batch, let's call him RT. He fell from a nearby HDB building, that's when Gan Eng Seng School was still at Spottiswoode Park (there wasn't a primary school back then). I realised that I could have either been before him or after. Right now, there's no reason for me to do so.

A few thoughts crossed my mind.
If Singapore is to be compared with the DC universe, what would be the names associated with the Singaporean dream? Would it be Batman, Superman, or Wonder Woman?
If you're a local Singaporean girl (never mind whether you're rich, beautiful, intelligent, or any one/two of the three listed), what kind of boyfriend would you want?
What is your expectation of your newlywed husband?
Be her a doctor, nurse, or radiographer, I'm pretty sure every girl would want her boyfriend to be like Clark Kent, her husband to be like Bruce Wayne. If your ex is someone like Clark Kent, why would you settle for John Constantine as your future boyfriend? Unless there's something wrong with you up there. And I don't mean the cleavage (then again, there's such a thing called compelling reasons).

More than any of the DC characters, I find it quite intriguing that John Constantine resonates with yours truly. Of course, I'm heterosexual and I don't do magic, Severus Snape or no Severus Snape. My life sucks less than his, it's not as if I'll unwittingly hex those around me. At least I recall nothing happened to ST, Saruman, and Jabba the Hutt from the DDR. Weird thing, though, is that if my future girlfriend is really born in 1986, chances are that she will end up looking like a mini cougar.

While I can never say whether my analytical skill is an accidental parallel to that of John Constantine, I do admit dark souls of the same feather flock together. Well, sort of. Just don't ask me stupid questions like these below.

Idiot: Hey, you know that girl in your workplace resembling Vivian Lee? You think they're siblings?
Me: If you want to get laid, go Geylang.
Idiot: ...
Me: Oh, I nearly forgot it's Ramadan now.

Moron: Hey, I suddenly realised that girl doesn't include some of her family members in her Facebook family list.
Me: Do I look like her cat?

Wannabe: Police said it's suicide bombing, the terrorists only mention victory. What do you think?

Me: Maybe bomb went off before that guy could run away.
Wannabe: Well, it's at least theoretically possible.
Me: Well, he's at least a suicide bomber on a technical basis.

Busybody: Hey, the city of Manchester decided to ban the Sun!
Me: Thankfully, no one planted a bomb in Hillsborough.

Perhaps truly a Singaporean neither here nor there...

Years of being a social reject can do some very wonderful things provided you're strong enough to pull through. When I first started off as a wannabe writer, it was because of my English teacher Miss Ho. While she praised my ability, she also said that I needed to cut down on my word length. After all, you don't expect me to be the Harry Potter of novel writing at the young age of 14. But hey, guess what/ I actually made the first step. Thanks, Miss Ho of class 2H. You're the reason why I decided to start doing something useful. Yes, my dad did give a snide remark by asking me whether writing can earn me a living. While he's right, he never realised that his son is the Singaporean equivalent of John Constantine. And to think he may have actually hoped that I'd become Clark Kent.

Long story short, I discovered my calling. It's not myself to be the next Jack Neo. If I cannot connect 100% with my own country, why should I want to be the next Jack Neo? To prove I'm not a liar, I'm going to show you what kind of creative person I am.

Note: Because I do have my own paranoid moments, let me say that names like Adine, Lolyx, Weisslynn, and Seelia should be seen as a moment of random creativity. The last thing I ever want is getting crucified for no reason at all.

http://glaive-d-barde.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-wolf-and-its-answer.html

http://glaive-d-barde.blogspot.com/2016/10/roaring-dawn.html

http://glaive-d-barde.blogspot.com/2016/12/unknown-and-left-behind.html

http://glaive-d-barde.blogspot.com/2017/04/a-wolf-and-moon-lion-and-dawn.html

http://glaive-d-barde.blogspot.com/2017/05/of-men-and-whores-lads-and-ladies.html

P.S: I suddenly recall an interesting fact. When I first started doing stuff in the DDR, ST actually reminded me of a school chairperson.

Any real life parallel to Onizuka Eikichi and Fuyutsuki Azusa should be seen as a product of individual paranoia. Period.