Excuse me, do you talk like a Singaporean or angmoh?

Definition of angmoh: Basically, a Singlish term referring to foreigners. More specifically a white one.

Example-"Eh, who's that damn pretty angmoh girl talking to you just now? She really looks like Emilia Clarke."

Hey, let's do some racism!

Well, not exactly. When I first created the idea of a racial civil war known as War of the Three Thrones, creating a unique identity for those involved was nothing short of a crazy chimp riding a pogo stick. It's like imagining the nightmare caused by the American Civil War where both the Unionists and Confederate were... well, white people. Simply put, how did one differentiate a Unionist soldier from a Confederate one? You're an American, I'm also an American. You're a white, I'm also a white. You support the legacy of George Washington, the same goes for me.

Unlike the other races (excluding the so-called demi humans), being a Causacean doesn't mean your country is the sole... well, Causacean nation/kingdom/whatever. Of course, this doesn't mean only white people are known to fight among themselves. We Chinese have a history of fighting against each other, ditto for Japanese and Koreans as well.

へいわ! へいわ!

Only two dynasties in the history of China were created via foreign invasion. Namely, the Yuan and Qing dynasties. The rest were created by Iron Man versus Captain America. As for Korea, the Korean Civil War wasn't the only one since every salty Korean would gladly tell you the story of Goguryeo, Baekje, and Silla. Comparatively, Japan's record of civil unrest wasn't much of a big deal since the Tokugawa era actually lasted for more than 200 years. But still, the earlier Sengoku period ended up proving that some things will never change. Okay, back to the topic.

At the end of the day, the only way for me to justify whatever division between the Roman, Teutonic, and Slavic people lies in the accent. Yes, I know this is nothing short of a cop out. Then again, how on Westeros was Robb Stark able to distinguish between ally and foe, assuming that every Westerosi is a white Westerosi. And that includes Daenerys Targaryen (funnily enough, both Richard Maddon and Emilia Clarke are Brits and white).

Census (minus the consensus)

As you all may know/guess by now, the Crucible is separated into four parts (i.e. continents). Out of the four, three are populated with people while the last one looks more like some far flung north where the bird doesn't lay a single egg. Don't laugh, this idiom is actually real. Just that it's not used by any other ethnicity apart from the Chinese (i.e. 鸟不生蛋的地方).

I'll go into the Causacean part first. Afterward, I'll see if there's enough time for the other two ends of civilisation (Note: I need to write up something about my beloved Boro asap since my girlfriend born in 1986 is currently as salty as a Korean due to negligence).

In terms of size, I'd say Causacea is roughly the size of mainland Asia minus the Middle East and islands/archipelagos. The continent is split into three factions. Eastern Causacea is dominated by the Kalaran Empire while the western part belongs to the High Realm of Teutonia. As for the Free Land of Slarvea, the most accurate comparison would be Russia.

In terms of territory, the Kalaran Empire covers slightly more than half the area below Slarvea. A rough estimation would be around 35% of the entire land mass. In this sense, the Kalaran Empire being the strongest faction is a no-brainer. Yet, it must be pointed out that a strong nation doesn't simply depend on military might. If not, then why would Mikhail Gorbachev pull the plug from whatever life support system sustaining an otherwise vegetative Soviet Union state? Your guess is as good as mine.

As for Teutonia, it has the least land mass out of the three. However, around half the national terrain comprises either of forests, mountains, or both. What this means is having the kind of defensive buffer neither the Kalarans nor Slarvs can ever have. On the approximate basis, Teutonia makes up of 25% of the land mass.

Then we come to Slarvea. Going by the basic maths, Slarvea should cover around 65% of the continent. On the first glance, it sounds like a big deal. In reality, the Slarvs are just nomads.

Terrain warfare

The best way to visualise things would be trying to imagine what the actual terrain looked like during the days of the Roman Empire (or just about any other empire/civilisation). Incidentally, you may see a wee bit of influence from Roman history.

For the Kalarans, they have a bit of everything apart from the desert. The northern part (where you get to see the likes of Gael Kodr and Alestrial Eliaden) comprises mostly of rocky ground, valleys, and port cities. The southern part mostly comprises of plains and plateaus with a large swath of forest wedged in the middle of the empire. This makes the south perfectly suitable for agriculture while the forest region acts as a perfect cover for infantry reinforcements in times of need. As for the western portion, it is what a tactician would call a sitting duck since it's mostly flat and fertile with a few hillocks. Yet, this is also known as the most prosperous part of the Empire where Romus is situated as the capital. This is due to the unique nature of River Portia flowing westbound. Because of its tributaries converging at this part of the empire, it means transporting of military reinforcement en masse can be done swiftly. It is also because of this that Romus, as the capital, is actually built just behind Lake Rhinas. As a result, the majority of the military budget always goes to the west. While quite obviously not as large (and prosperous as well for that matter) as the original Sanders, the Kalaran Empire still remains as the closest thing to that.

For the Teutonians, their economic clout is nothing to shout about in comparison. Protected by a combination of mountains and forests in a thick form of an inverted C at the eastern border (where the Kalaran Empire is situated just beyond), any decision to further monetary profit would just end up compromising the kingdom's defences. Behind the so-called inverted C are fiefs owned by feudal lords known as earls. These fiefdoms basically stretch from the border to the northwestern and southwestern parts. This is where the earls' political influence stops, for whatever left over belongs to the highest ruler known as the High Lord. A notable part of Teutonia would be the great port city of Normand at the southwestern coast. This is where the bulk of the kingdom's wealth comes from. While the system may resemble medieval Europe, the motivation to create Teutonia hailed from a combination of Teutons and Celts. At the same time, Normand as the name of a place is inspired by the greatest beach party in the history of mankind. No, I'm definitely not referring to Siloso Beach or the Sapphire Pavilion there.

As for the Slarvs, it's either they don't understand economy or they just can't be bothered to be... well, bothered by merchants and whatnot. As nomads, only a tent is needed as a roof over the head. Largely making up of plains, there are nevertheless hillocks where any clan is free to stay on a temporary basis. This is meant as a defensive mechanism during any war where the strong and able go to battle while children and the weak are left behind. If you still can't detect where the original Sanders came from, it means you're plain ignorant.

Note: Because there's a need to flesh out the necessary structure, I'll just stop at here for the terrain part. Creativity is like asking me how I'd manage a relationship with my future girlfriend born in 1986. You need time, effort, and sincerity.

Okay, here comes the racism...

Accent can be a funny thing. In the right hands, it can create more than just a decent impact. In the wrong hands, however, it can have a detrimental effect on one people, one nation, one Singapore. Sadly, it is indeed true that not everyone can pull off stereotypes like a Jew. For my own version of the white people, the most straightforward way is to create different accents.

In the Bible (more specifically the Book of Genesis), we have a particular episode involving a grand project somewhere in the modern day Middle East. That place is called Shinar, the grand project is called the Great Tower of Babel (come on, you think the project was really named this way?). Long story short, we human beings are meant to be too arrogant for our own good. That's basically how (and why) people started talking in different languages. Why I'm mentioning this Tower of Babel is very simple: In the same way one man's neighbour started talking in a funny way, likewise, there has to be a distinctive difference between three factions of the same race.

I have the good fortune to hear different accents. After all, Singapore is a haven for foreign expatriates despite a high living cost. In fact, I won't be surprised if someone in my workplace (i.e. the whole of SGH instead of just my department) is already married with one. Due to a combination of curiosity, random internet vids, and having an incredibly sharp pair of ears (not to be confused with the type of ears Nightcrawler is known for), I developed the ability to pick up random accents from random expatriates. Basically, I just listen (not their native language, but rather the way their words rolled off the tongue) and ask silent questions (in order to discern whether that fellow is German, French, or Spanish).

What a Kalaran would sound like:

You may have learnt French via schools like French Toast Language Centre, but what about Latin? In the Roman Empire, Latin was the so-called national language. Therefore, I ended up asking which manner of modern day language should I base my idea from. Okay, that was a lie. So far so good, I can only recognise six types of accents. Namely, Spanish, French, German, Slavic, British English, and American English. I'd like to include Korean and Japanese as well, but this part is about white people.

Ultimately, it's a toss up between Spanish and French (note that both languages are descended from Vulgar Latin. Not to be confused with the modern day definition of vulgar). The Spanish accent tends to sound a bit like... well, a machine gun entering rapid fire mode. For the lack of a better way to put it, that is. In fact, I've seen some of the interviews involving someone named Aitor Karanka (yes, he's a Spanish fyi).

Ultimately, I opted for French. Not because of what Aitor did. After all, it's only right that I appreciate everything he has done right for Boro despite the most obvious during his final season in charge. The reason why is that traditionally, people tend to associate the French with fine taste. I won't be surprised if that's considered racial stereotyping, but it's true that listening to the French speaking is like listening to a song sung by bards and minstrels. The lyrical flow of their native language is unmistakably... well, French. Because the Kalaran Empire represents the class of human civilisation (something which I grabbed from the Romans), it felt apt for me to utilise the French way of speaking.

What a Teutonian would sound like:

I got two choices before me. Either I go for the British accent or the German one. Teutonia, as a country, is inspired by two main elements. Namely, the Germans and Celts. In fact, the Teutons (who were considered Germans) and Celts (possibly the first people to populate the British Isles) were both considered Indo-European people. To be honest, I'd have taken the British option since it's the most straightforward one. That is if not for a particular episode involving me eating out. Simply put, I decided to go German.

That incident was actually a few years ago, where an expatriate family was seated at the table beside yours truly. Being the curious cat most Singaporeans would shun becoming, I decided to play a game of guess the accent. Not with that family, but with myself. At first, they actually sounded French (quite obviously, I was either woefully ignorant or being more accustomed to how the French speak). Then something in me (i.e. gut instinct) told me they're not French. Long story short, I decided to hear the words being spoken. I don't understand the French language, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of picking out words that sound... well, French. As it turned out, I detected none of the French words commonly used. More specifically the words "le "and "les".

You see, we Singaporeans tend to use a staple word whenever we start talking in English. That word isn't "lah", but "the". However, such tendency is not just about people who speak English as their first/native language. The German word for "the" is actually der/die. Pronunciation wise, it's actually similar to "the". In the same manner, the French word "de" sounds similar. But the thing is, "de" in French means "of". At the same time, their words didn't flow like French. For the lack of a better way to put it, the accent felt more like spoken English than singing a song. Eventually, I picked some words which sounded... well, German. Interestingly enough, the French ancestry was associated with Germanic tribes in the form of the Franks. That was definitely despite the Latin nature of the French language system. Also, the British as we now know them are most likely descended from Germanic tribes. Simply put, they're considered Anglo-Saxons (note: Saxons were not part of the Celts, but rather a part of the so-called Germanic ethnicity).

What a Slarv would sound like:

This should be very straightforward. Have you ever tried imagining how a Slav sounds like? If you're a tennis fan (horny or not horny), you'd have most likely came across a few random interviews involving Maria Sharapova. And trust me, she's a Russian and Russians actually descended from the Slavs. However, I have to admit that my impression of the so-called Slavic (or East European) accent came from playing Marvel Heroes after a few years of hiatus. In that game, there are two particularly famous Slavs. Namely, Magik and her full metal bro Colossus. Since there's no reason for the devs at Gazillion to create a fake accent (apart from Deadpool mimicking Gambit's Cajun accent, but that's because he's trolling incarnate and we all know trolling will never die), I'm pretty sure their Slavic accent would be more accurate than whatever South Asian accent demanded from some Singaporean Indian actor.

P.S: When it comes to the stereotypical angmoh we Singaporeans are so used to visualising, that image is quite possibly that of the Norsemen (and women for that matter). At least I don't remember Indo-Europeans being known for fair complexion, light coloured hair, and blue eyes. Just don't ask me whether the average Celtic woman would suit the angmoh fantasy of every horny Singaporean guy. I'm not going to answer that.