"No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness."
~Aristotle

Sunday 15 May 2016

Taking this one step at a time...

Okay, so this blog will be my official outlet for creative badassery. Perhaps the language usable will be more proper. Then again, maybe not. I've got a few ideas on where to take this one. If you're expecting contents like what you're used to seeing in blogs like what you've seen for Xiaxue, QiuQiu, or Yan Kay Kay, forget it. If you're expecting something like what you've seen in Mr Brown's blog, forget it as well.

This is a mad man's blog. Perhaps I'm really born a genius. Unlike plenty of local talents, I got myself trapped in difficult circumstances 20 years ago (in other words, the educational environment would sentence creative late bloomer like me the Changi death sentence). I'm poor, possibly talented, and quite obviously doomed to die penniless and single. If this sounds familiar, be very sure that this was the life story of Vincent van Gogh.

Enough of self-pitying. Let's see if I can play the successful rebel.

What to expect from me?
Random ideas ranging from gaming to original stories. Due to the nature of fanfiction, the Neverwinter Six will still be retained in Tueur de roi.

At the same time, be prepared for me sharing songs you may/may not have heard of. After all, the nine daughters of Zeus did have a strong association with music.

Some ideas on one of my planned stories
It'll still be dark. Language and portrayal-wise, I hope to emulate J.R.R Tolkien. Lord of the Rings may not be dark at all. The Hobbit can be quite dark despite being a children's book (which is why I actually rebelled against the mainstream standard by being a fan of Thorin Oakenshield). The Children of Húrin has to be the darkest of them all together with The Silmarillion. If you never heard of the last two titles, it's okay. Not everybody is born to be a cat like yours truly.

There are two ways to portray a dark reality. Either you do it via the most direct "people live and die every day. And that includes elves."
Or you go one step further by telling your audience that your characters are capable of swearing and that society is equally capable of committing heinous acts like rape and pedophilia.

But why are you so twisted?
Because I have no friends apart from God. If you think I'm joking, think again. I could have killed myself 10-20 years ago (this is NOT to say that I actually contemplated suicide, just that it remains somewhat a miracle that I've never entertained such a thought). If you think having friends is normal, that means I was born abnormal. And I still am right now. If you want to change my course of action, you better start trying to be my close friend. A confidant. I don't care whether you're male or female. If you can't prove yourself one way or another, then all I can say is "that's a shame."

I'm trying to change what ought to change, but don't expect me to fight my battles with anyone else apart from God unless you're willing to spend at least 3 days in a week trying to set me right.

If I sound angry, be assured that I'm not. I know that I'm cursed with poor EQ. So what if I'm truly a genius? Doesn't mean that I am God. Man can never be God in the same way the word of man can never be the Word of God. All I want is the promise of making a decent effort in trying to set me right if you think I'm going on the wrong course. Via my other two blogs, I know there were crazy moments where I let fly salvo of insanity after salvo of insanity. There is a trigger impulse within me and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you think I'm crazy, be very sure that plenty of people believed that:

1. I was either spastic or retarded.
2. Girls think that I'm a perverted creep (okay, that's a hyperbole, But you get the drift).
3. Believe it or not, there had been those who believed in betrayal minus the need to explain why.

I'm already a living wreck. Emotionally broken and mentally scarred. Once I start doing something, it will take a long time for my brain to cease the adrenaline flow. If I was born normal, perhaps I could truly change myself via conscious effort. But what if I was born an abnormal person? Have you ever tried poetry without any prior training? I have. And I am proud of myself because of that. I'm not a retarded person. I know there's a difference in difficulty between writing a novel and writing a poem. You need to understand how the rhythm flows in your brain. You can't just chuck words into a single paragraph or even a single stanza. That's why I know I was born both gifted and cursed. Cursed because I was born a genius, a genius because I was cursed with madness.

Perhaps no one will ever understand me. But I know my Lord Jesus understands me. Perhaps I will die like Lazarus in one of His parables. That means I will go to heaven instead of hell.

Until the day I breathe my last, I guess either I have to get busy living instead of getting busy dying.

P.S: Okay, rant now over. Before I sign this off, enjoy what I have to offer concerning my inner world.

1 comment:

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