Problem, self-discipline?
There's a common (?) saying: Cats are a law unto themselves. More oft than not, this means cats tend to do things out of the ordinary (which makes 90% of the world population as dogs. No offense intended). Currently, I'm trying out a so-called new self-rule regime (read: self-discipline, not self-autonomy). Basically, I'll start writing/blogging for around 1-2 hours. After which I'll only start playing some Neverwinter. Nothing more than 2 campaign zones on average (plus either a dungeon or 1-2 skirmishes), nothing more than 2 characters used daily.
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| Above is what I may really need on a permanent basis. No need for a 9.5 though... |
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| Above is how my brain currently works. |
In other news...
I realised my beautiful legal housebreaker has displayed a couple of (not so)blatant signs of affection towards yours truly. Narcissism aside, some ideas were bouncing inside me during work today. While this doesn't affect my work performance, I must admit that this merely reinforced my belief that I need a radical advancement in my career. *shrugs*
It's been a start-stop journey for me when it comes to A Requiem from Winter Past. From the initial A Ranger's Tale to redoing the title, from Aeranath to renaming the titular character as Aeravor, what's left right now is to set off where I last... well, left off. Unlike the Neverwinter Six saga (where I'm under not so much stress to out spoilers), I need to be very careful on this one. Unlike the Neverwinter Six saga, A Requiem from Winter Past is strictly a work of intellectual property from yours truly (wonder if J.K Rowling is reading this).
So far so good...
Only one chapter has been (re)upped. I'll go straight to the point in terms of the things I may be planning in the short run (or maybe even in the works right now).
Changes in how magic works:
In the original draft, magic is basically the ability to manipulate nature with limitations imposed on the individual. It's also implied that whatever being said about magic was, for the most part, a case of sugar coating. Modifications will be made, they'll be based on two of my labels. Namely, thaumaturgy and metallurgy. At the same time, there will be a third form of magic. Namely, elegy.
Changes to rangers:
Nothing much of note I can disclose here. In the original draft(s), rangers are quintessentially hunters and assassins rolled into one. However, I may do a modification or two in order to heighten the rangers' impact on the general world order.
Changes on demons:
Same as above. However, their role in this current write may be more impactful than otherwise imagined. In terms of how they do things, I may (or may not) tweak a detail here and there. I may need to sit down by myself to ask some useful questions.
Relationship Status: Beyond complicated
Relationship problems can do some amazing things to your life. As a child, I first experienced enforced isolation during Primary Five. That was in Henderson Primary School, you don't have to bother googling map for it (read: it's no longer around). I was that undesirable kid who displayed habits of questionable hygiene (basically something a bit like this. Apologies to my future 9.0 if she has a BFF in Hamburg). No one wanted to be my friends (generally, not literally since I still remember a Ha Lai Wah). Period.
I still can recall one moment of childish callousness. That was when I was in Primary Four (or Three). My entire class got the itch after sketching against the bark of a pong pong tree (read: the sap of the tree can cause itchiness). I've got a classmate (still remember her name minus the surname, but let's not start an ugly fight here) who got a bottle of medicated oil. She was very generous to the rest. When I say "the rest', it means I was excluded. Long story short, I had to use the most primitive way to relieve my itch. It's called my saliva. The reaction towards me was nothing short of disgusting. Yes, I was being disgusting. Whose fault is it? Did I look like Jaime Lannister to you?
Come secondary school, it got progressively worse. I won't say all, but some. There were some who called me siao due to the fact that... well, I wasn't born normal. In fact, it wasn't until the recent couple of years that I realized the extent of my inherent flaws (possibly this?). Society back then was extremely harsh towards those with mental illness (plus those perceived to have it). This was due to negative press coming from the media with little to no actual information given. No one taught me this logic, that's why I ended up teaching myself.
The reality of schoolyard bullying is very real, no matter which era you're in or which country you're born in. No one understood me (funnily enough, Ha Lai Wah was in the same school as me). Either I was bullied or left alone like an isolated North Korean. People thought I was being annoying by talking too much, I wasn't good in socialising anyway. Even today, I can only know when to step on the accelerator and when to step on the brake. Anywhere in the middle and all hell break loose.
I tried to find solace in getting a girlfriend. Or rather trying to get one. From secondary school (back then, Gan Eng Seng was an ah-beng ah-lian school) to ITE Dover (that was when Jack Neo pulled off a blinder by satirising It's The End). Quite literally, it's the end of my life as I wished it to be.
Getting scarred: the damning details
When I was in Primary Six, I had a crush on a female classmate. I followed her home. Okay not literally all the way, but the halfway line was enough to get myself into trouble. That was my fault. Period.
In secondary school (more specifically Sec 2 and 3), people whom I've had no grudges with decided to play God. One of them stepped on my right knuckle while I was feeling around for my glasses. Then there's this one time I was punched in the stomach in the classroom. I forgot which incident, but I still recalled that fellow's face. It was the visage of a murderer (well, not quite literally, but you get the drift). People refused to share with me the good things they have, I was told not to treat others like a clown despite being treated like one myself.
When my glasses cracked during an accident, my mother was adamant that it's down me being playful (read: I was running around like a hyperactive adolescent). I denied it, she thought I was lying. The reason why being that she chose to believe in the uncle owning the spectacle shop downstairs. The only catch? I wasn't lying.
When my glasses cracked during an accident, my mother was adamant that it's down me being playful (read: I was running around like a hyperactive adolescent). I denied it, she thought I was lying. The reason why being that she chose to believe in the uncle owning the spectacle shop downstairs. The only catch? I wasn't lying.
I was verbally and physically abused (in particular, I still remember that guy who called me pus during my ITE years), I was brutally betrayed (I also remember who were the culprits), I was that only Jew in a Holocaust lasting near twenty years.
I still can recall a certain incident during my secondary school days. There's this one ex-classmate who fell to his death nearby the school (back then, Gan Eng Seng was in the Spottiswoode Park area). Either I could have gone first or next. If we're talking about another extreme, it'd be the path of a certified military genius.
In church, I couldn't find my solace as well. I was so used to being isolated as a Jew, it basically means I could only wait for my fellow Christians to show me some concern (yeah, I know it sounds a bit like being part of the Starks of Winterfell). I was that invisible man, I grew to get myself used to it. As always, I tried seeking solace by getting myself into a BGR. The girl I liked rejected me, I was back to ground zero (in case you've yet to realise it, I'm never good at starting any form of relationship). As it turned out, I continued getting myself into similar circumstances, only that I chose to suffer in silence. I swear my love life is ten times worse than ten Taylor Swifts combined. Period.
Solace in writing
Above title is self-explanatory. It wasn't a smooth ride though. My dad sneered at my attempt to write something decent. After all, you can't make a living out of being a writer (which is why the likes of J.R.R Tolkien, C.S Lewis, and Sir Terry Pratchett were not born with the Singaporean passport). No one ever said "hey, Minghui. I can see that you have a gift for writing". But what else can I do? Should I just agree with an unforgiving world that I'm merely some worthless trash which even God doesn't want? Eventually, porn caught me in its snare. Even now, I have to look out for my inner demons.
Initially, I was totally into the standard fare. Then in a twist of fate, I came into contact with the darker stuff. Most notably Nasu Kinoko's works. As an individual, I can identify myself with characters like Tohno Shiki, Emiya Shirou (plus Archer as well), Gun God, and Emiya Kiritsugu. That's where I started deviating into the... well, orh orh hi peng.
It's really quite a hell of an eventful 34 years for me. Whenever people see me as that cheerful guy, they never knew the demon within. Whenever someone says "eh, you talk too much crap lah!", it merely means I never showed him my scars. I've been through darkness and seen hell for what it is. I've suffered burns ten times worse than the threshold of a normal human being, my scars number at least tens of thousand.
Enough about the ranting, let's get onto business...
This is not your grandfather's fantasy story. One of my FB friends mentioned the fallacy behind the current C.L.I.F plot. If you and your BFF enjoy listening to songs like this one below...
...then songs like this below are more to my taste.
Firstly, I realised I can't really self-censor myself. The thing with my writing style is that it's dialogue-centric so as to speak. To highlight the challenge I'm facing right now, I'm pretty sure The Children of Húrin would most likely be rated R (figuratively speaking of course) if Tolkien adopted my style (for the lack of a better form of expression).
Secondly, what is wrong stays wrong. I need to hammer home this point. The difference between writing a piece of music and writing a novel lies in the length. Let me up an example here.
The amount of words used in a song is always limited, the lyrics can only tell this much of a story. You can only discern one person's POV (more than one if it's singing a duet or just about any song involving more than one POV). Story-telling, however, is a case of telling the story from multiple POV. One person's righteousness is not necessarily another person's morality, one man's meat may easily be another man's poison. Hence, the greatest challenge I'm potentially facing is a clear cut message being propagated: If it's wrong, it stays wrong. That's the difference between romanticism and realism. Romanticism is all about doing the right things without being forced to do the wrong things, realism means doing the wrong things, whether forced to or otherwise. When we talk about what is morally right, we must understand that it's not the same definition as what is morally acceptable. The former denotes an absolute standard, the latter basically indicates what can be done. Sounds confusing? Maybe you can try seeing things this way: Murder is morally wrong, but killing a terrorist just because you don't have faith in the law is morally acceptable. Sound like a contradiction? This comes to the next part.
A world without God. More oft than not, people enjoy saying the world is a better place without religion. But what about a world where God isn't real? Let's assume every atheist's best dream come true. Will it really be better? I'm out to throw a spanner into the intelligent machine and see whether it will malfunction. Therefore, there's no way I can eschew the darker aspects of humanity. Whether you like it or not, it's not my problem.
Then we have the (only) ways to portray a world without God. Namely sex and violence, and family values. I don't know about how that guy sharing my surname does his stuff, but I don't do things the graphic way. In story-telling, there will always be more than one way to show. On the other hand, there's just only one way to tell. I still remember the days where I read some of the works in Fictionpress which were very good. The only catch? Some of them were rated R. There would be times when I need to shut off my mind in order to skip the sex scenes spanning like N paragraphs. I know it sounds improbable, but I actually realised fiction can also be translated into non-fiction.
When it comes to scenes of violence, I can just easily get it over and done with via the usage of brief sentences amounting to "a flick here and there". Erotica is basically that deranged monkey jumping up and down on my back. I'm not interested in telling any moron that it's okay to have sex with a minor unless he has nowhere to stay and Changi happens to be that most convenient place (no offence meant to the homeless. I'm pretty sure the cops would have been too busy to shoot black people if the homeless are really a problem). What is wrong stays wrong, but I need to bring forth the realism. Interestingly enough, all I need to bring my message across is play with the characters' respective POV. No need to mention the most sensitive parts. As they say, women are from Venus and men from Mars. If you're from Venus, it means you're most likely into the emotional side. If you're from Mars, it means you're most likely into the hormonal end (interestingly, Venus is the Roman variation of Aphrodite while Mars is the Roman variation of Ares. One is the Greek goddess of love, the other the Greek god of war). I don't do Fifty Shades *insert correct title here*. Because I don't have to, I don't need to, and I don't want to anyway.
Ultimately, people tend to say sex sells instead of violence sells. Perhaps this is why it's far easier for moral crusaders not to condemn on-screen violence while being so trigger-happy in terms of... well, on-screen sex.
When it comes to prose, that's where the best part comes. I realised I've got a knack for creating the kind of flow akin to poetry. Just put the comma in the middle at the correct place and everything will just flow smoothly like the Euphrates (or just about any river you can think of).
Note: You won't catch me using sex and violence for senseless shock value. A Requiem from Winter Past is more about character interaction with plenty of action to reinforce the whole action/drama genre. In fact, all I need to do an erotica scene is basically five sentences or even less. Don't believe me, not my problem.
Note: You won't catch me using sex and violence for senseless shock value. A Requiem from Winter Past is more about character interaction with plenty of action to reinforce the whole action/drama genre. In fact, all I need to do an erotica scene is basically five sentences or even less. Don't believe me, not my problem.
Characters and places...
Let's talk about places first. In general, there will be no changes on the nations and people. Geographically wise, it's also the case. However, I may edit the details such as specific cities and part of the terrain. Then again, I think I've forgotten 90% of the terrain in general (I remember doing a multi-post on Teutonia, but I think it's better for me to start anew). As for the capital cities of the respective nations that I still remember, I decided to keep them for now (read: Romus, the capital of Kalaran; Anglsax, the capital of Teutonia).
On the various ethnicity involved, same as above. The Kalarans will remain as my version of the Romans while the Teutonians would still be my equivalent of the Germinic and Celtic ethnicity combined in general. As for the Slarveans, they would still be the Slavic people of this world. I will also retain the original usage of the Cinhas (East Asians), Tamurians (Malays), and Sudhlits (Tamils). Of course I'll have to do certain stuff to make everything look fictional (after all, separating fiction from non-fiction is the job of every human being including the author).
Note: Below portion includes certain links related to fictional works rated R. I do not profess to have read/watch any of them. After all, cats are a law unto themselves.
If you think that he's really crazy, then it merely means I'm keeping my cards close to myself. When I was still active in Fictionpress, one of my reviewers said he/she really hated this character. If it'd down to a lack of quality, I'd be terribly gutted. But hell no! I was truly happy for that person's input. The reason why is very simple: If you want to be a story-teller, you better make sure your audience end up loving certain characters and hating some others for the same reason. If Aeravor gets on your nerves due to his standard of morality (more specifically the lack thereof), it means your hate is the best proof of quality done by yours truly. Simply put, I don't have any regrets in creating a sociopathic jerk who only does/kills things for fun.
Alter-ego factor: Basically my orh orh hi peng.
Character inspiration:
http://berserk.wikia.com/wiki/Guts#Personality (Please note that SG banned Berserk years ago. Weirdly enough...)
http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Jaime_Lannister
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItAmusedMe
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragarach
Ideal CV: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toshihiko_Seki
Alias: Chaos Incarnate; Contra Mundum; Cub
Faction: Vánagandr (previously)
"There is a wounded animal somewhere inside him, yet none is willing to perceive a person beneath that very beast."
~Alestrial Eliaden
Faction: Vánagandr (previously)
"No matter what you do, don't fight him. You get me, cub? The day you know the truth, that moment will destroy you."
~Erik, Lord of Fury
"Foolish daughter of Eliaden, do you really believe the world can be saved through peace and righteousness? Look to the skies and count how many doves number among the hawks."
~Rowein, Lord of Steel
Not this Loki on a literal basis...
And now for a couple of songs to round things up...
On the various ethnicity involved, same as above. The Kalarans will remain as my version of the Romans while the Teutonians would still be my equivalent of the Germinic and Celtic ethnicity combined in general. As for the Slarveans, they would still be the Slavic people of this world. I will also retain the original usage of the Cinhas (East Asians), Tamurians (Malays), and Sudhlits (Tamils). Of course I'll have to do certain stuff to make everything look fictional (after all, separating fiction from non-fiction is the job of every human being including the author).
Note: Below portion includes certain links related to fictional works rated R. I do not profess to have read/watch any of them. After all, cats are a law unto themselves.
Aeravor
Onto the characters then. Firstly, Aeravor. Let me destroy whatever lingering hope in each and every idealistic fellow Singaporean of mine, whether truly local or foreign, NUS, NYP, or ITE graduate. Doesn't even matter if you graduated from Charles Sturt University of Australia. Yes, he is the protagonist even though I've done a total recall on the title. I'm not going to justify his actions in the current first chapter. He's nasty, he's a jerk, and... well, I can't fault you all for thinking "eh, siao eh this fella!"If you think that he's really crazy, then it merely means I'm keeping my cards close to myself. When I was still active in Fictionpress, one of my reviewers said he/she really hated this character. If it'd down to a lack of quality, I'd be terribly gutted. But hell no! I was truly happy for that person's input. The reason why is very simple: If you want to be a story-teller, you better make sure your audience end up loving certain characters and hating some others for the same reason. If Aeravor gets on your nerves due to his standard of morality (more specifically the lack thereof), it means your hate is the best proof of quality done by yours truly. Simply put, I don't have any regrets in creating a sociopathic jerk who only does/kills things for fun.
Alter-ego factor: Basically my orh orh hi peng.
Character inspiration:
http://berserk.wikia.com/wiki/Guts#Personality (Please note that SG banned Berserk years ago. Weirdly enough...)
http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Jaime_Lannister
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItAmusedMe
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragarach
Ideal CV: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toshihiko_Seki
Alias: Chaos Incarnate; Contra Mundum; Cub
Faction: Vánagandr (previously)
"There is a wounded animal somewhere inside him, yet none is willing to perceive a person beneath that very beast."
~Alestrial Eliaden
Aor
Basically still the main antagonist of the plot. Like the previous draft(s), he remains as the sole target of Aeravor's goal. At the same time, he's really one hell of a philosopher. Even though gods are not real, then Aor is arguably(?) the closest thing to one.
Alter-ego factor: My tendency to go full philosopher mentally.
Character inspiration:
Alias: Contra Nihilo
"No matter what you do, don't fight him. You get me, cub? The day you know the truth, that moment will destroy you."
~Erik, Lord of Fury
Guy Cody
One of the two deuteragonists of the story. Reckless and seemingly a moron, Guy is basically the definition of failure. It's like "thankfully my son is not like him in school" or "thankfully my son is not like him as a Christian". That's how bad things have gotten for him. And it doesn't help he's actually infatuated with a girl too noble for him to marry.
Alter-ego factor: Basically my life minus the orh orh hi peng.
Character inspiration:
http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/G%C3%A1e_Dearg
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnightInShiningArmor
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnightInShiningArmor
Alias: Moron/Idiot/Cretin/Retarded Guy; The Lion Amongst Men
Faction: Leonum Flammeus
"You're different from those men out to rape me years ago. Arondight warned me not to go near you, but he never told me your eyes are the same as his."
~Cerias
"You're different from those men out to rape me years ago. Arondight warned me not to go near you, but he never told me your eyes are the same as his."
~Cerias
Alestrial Eliaden
The other deuteragonist of the story. If you're a fan of any Korean A-lister goddess, chances are that you'll see her as the goddess Athena rather than Aphrodite. Of course, it also depends on the image portrayed. If it's Lee Hyori, then quite obviously the fanboys will see her as an Aphrodite. However, Alestrial Eliaden is basically more of an Athena. Not only is she the love interest of Guy, she also symbolises what every feminist strives to be. Beautiful, intelligent, and rich... what's not to like about her if you're a guy? Compassionate, yet headstrong... what's not to like about her if you're Emma Watson?
Alter-ego factor: The idealistic side of me.
Character inspiration:
Ideal CV: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kana_Ueda
Alias: That Cinha wench; Daughter of Eliaden; Ales
Faction: House Eliaden
"Foolish daughter of Eliaden, do you really believe the world can be saved through peace and righteousness? Look to the skies and count how many doves number among the hawks."
~Rowein, Lord of Steel
Additional notes before I go eat dinner (and play Neverwinter afterwards)
Of course above list is not the entire deal. They are basically the major players in the game created by yours truly, but there are also other characters who are also important in their own right. Sadly, I do not want to waste too much time on this post. I already spent one day doing most of this post, I'm not interested in burning another day for part three. However, there are a couple of things I need to clarify here.
The first thing is the presence of homosexuality. If you remember what I've written in the previous version, you'll know there's more than just one homosexual character. Previously, I used this controversial trope as a form of character struggle. However, I decide to implement a... well, I won't say darker twist... let's just put thing this way. In this modern era, everyone knows what is same-sex marriage. During ancient times, however, homosexuality was not about same-sex marriage. Such concept was absolutely alien to the people, be they civilians or nobility. This is my intended direction for this current write. However, I'm also mindful that anything I write can easily be misconstrued. In other words, I'm not interested in playing judge as a writer. There is a time for preaching, another time to stay silent. Either way, I don't believe in one sin greater than the other.
The second thing is this. The usage of the A-word. While I'm not referring to the name of the Muslim deity, I shouldn't have used True Apostle. In fact, I should have pulled the plug on the whole damned idea. Initially, I tried finding inspiration from the True Ancestors created by Nasu himself. The naming part was an abject failure. Period. However, this also means I need to find an actual meaning behind the name Vánagandr. After all, this is an alternate name for the (correct) son of Loki.
Not this Loki on a literal basis...
And now for a couple of songs to round things up...
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